February 24, 2011

The new me; outgoing & bossy

I hate to argue. The only time I'll do it is when I'm certain that my point is a fact. Sometimes not even then.

I don't really know of anything I'm truly passionate about. Mostly because I feel that in order to reach a level of passion, you actually have to know a lot about the subject. So, why argue about something when I don't know everything about it?

I don't value my opinion enough to put myself out there most of the time. That's just how I am.

Despite how much I don't like to argue, I did it yesterday. It wasn't really an argument as much as it was me trying to understand someone else's feelings. I'm not insensitive. I just try not to let my past dictate my future. Which is what the argument was all about. Therefore, being sensitive to the subject was not something I was doing. I took offense to it.

Last night we went to small group. We are currently finding our Niche. It's a wonderful personality profile unlike any I've ever done before.

We took assessments last night. We checked off our strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes I was stumped at which choice to choose. How do you label strengths without seeming too cocky? Same with weaknesses. Do you really want to admit you are a brassy person, or that you're overly negative?

Once we were all done we found out what our choices said about each of us.

And here's the shocker.

My selections revealed my personality as outgoing and demanding. Kevin's selections revealed he was reserved and shy and organized!

It was funny, because we both believe ourselves to be complete opposite of what this test showed us. And we are complete opposite of one another.

But, I love that about us. It's about balance. We balance each other out.

And while we did have an argument yesterday, it was resolved. Resolved with good news. With good outcome. As are most of our stupid arguments. But that's the balance we have.

We're opposites that compliment one another. Even when I do feel the need to show my outgoing, bossy side to get my point across.

February 17, 2011

Socially worn

Today feels like a Friday. But it's not.

The week has been long. The week has been loud. Both inside and out.

I've had a lot of arguments with myself this week. Mostly over stupid stuff. I like to have stupid arguments with myself rather than with others. It just makes more sense that way. I can end it at any time and not feel obligated to apologize.

I haven't felt like much of a social, people-person this week. I have nice things to say, but I just don't wish to put forth the effort. Some people haven't deserved my effort this week. Some people have thoroughly annoyed me this week. With how loud they've been. How inconsiderate they've been.

For those that have deserved it, they have been graced with it.

I've always been the type of person to think of others before myself. I find a lot of satisfaction in doing that. However, I don't think the majority of others do the same. I know of people who think they are so quaint and considerate, but really, they're not. Let me tape record you for a day.

The truth hurts. And it's ugly.

And I'm not just blowing smoke up my own butt. I really do think of others before myself. And it's not that easy for me to admit.

Today has been full. I've had my fill. I'm socially worn out.

People, sometimes, are the worst thing that can happen to me all day.

February 15, 2011

He loves me, he loves me not

I remember back when I was in elementary school, everyone passed out Valentine's Day cards, secretly, into little brown bags that we had decorated the week before. It was so much fun to see who gave you the cards with candy attached. Or how many of the same card you got in your bag.

Sometimes I wish Valentine's Day was still like that. Simple.

We don't celebrate Valentine's Day (note: we don't buy each other gifts), because we believe that everyday is a day of love. You don't need a card to say it. You don't need flowers to say it. You just need a heart. You can say it with words or say it with actions. No gift required. Everyday. Whenever the mood strikes you.

I order some earrings from Etsy a week ago and they arrived right on Valentine's Day. Perfect timing.

I hope you had a simple Valentine's Day, too. So full of love.

February 10, 2011

Precious, precious

This last week has been a hard one. Not directly, but indirectly. The events that have taken place have been fuzzy, but that's because the difficulty of the situation could happen to anyone. At anytime. Including me.

I have a few friends. Although some of those people I am ashamed to call friends because there are times when I distance myself from everyone and everything. Two of those friends were pregnant at the same time. Both due within weeks of each other. They are friends to each other. But, the similarities of their expanding families was not something that was planned.

Two weeks ago my very best friend had her baby. Three days after that my other friend had her baby. Both had girls. They both weighed the same. They were both born during daylight hours. But, that's where the similarities stopped.

The second friends' baby had some complications. She stayed in the hospital. She was transferred to a different hospital to better support her. And then transferred once more. A tiny life putting up an awesomely huge fight. It amazes me how something so small can fight so hard. That's the true power of God.

Everyone was praying for this little girl. Praying to keep her strong. Praying to keep the family strong. Praying that God would intervene and keep this baby breathing. The power of prayer was and still is awesome for this baby and her family.

She fought for six whole days. And then God decided that he had other plans for her.

I continue to pray for my friend and her husband every day. And while I can't fully imagine even the slightest what pain they are going through, I sympathize so much with them. I have a child. And every day that I pray for them, their loss weighs on me more and more. It's so hard to even begin to touch the reason why God had this plan for that baby's life. But, you just have to know that He did it for a reason beyond our control.

I'm hoping today will bring some closure to this difficult week. For them and for me. I don't think I can look at the kids the same anymore, though. I think it will soften my heart with them. I think it will make me even more grateful that I have them. Because not everyone is blessed in the same way as me. Not everyone gets to wish every baby they've had a happy first birthday.

Life is very precious. Please take a moment to pray for my friend's family today.

February 5, 2011

Joy of Love | Day 5

I am participating in a photography workshop through Willette for the month of February.

It is called The Joy of Love and each day I receive photo prompts and assignments to complete to help me work on my photography and also capture some unique photos of my loved ones.

Day 5: Love To Hate

Joy of Love - Day 5

Some days I really hate the clutter that the kids leave behind. Messy beds, messy floors. They flow so easily from one thing to the next. Probably because they don't bother to put anything away. Ever.

I don't know why we have shelves in their room, because they're always bare. I don't know why I put sheets on the bed, because they are always ripped off. But, it wouldn't be the same if they were as neat and tidy as me. I'd be worried. So, I love their messy personalities. For now.

February 4, 2011

Joy of Love | Day 4

I am participating in a photography workshop through Willette for the month of February.

It is called The Joy of Love and each day I receive photo prompts and assignments to complete to help me work on my photography and also capture some unique photos of my loved ones.

Day 4: What They Wear

Joy of Love - Day 4

I always feel like Morgen has a ton of clothes. Mostly because she does. I always have a small stack of clothes that don't really fit her anymore. There is a pile of currently worn clothes that fit perfectly. Then there is a stash of clothes that she will grow in to in a few weeks months. She grows so fast sometimes that I can't keep up, so when someone mistakenly gives her an outfit or shirt that is too big, I don't take it back. I just wait. Because I know she will be wearing it before I even know it.

February 3, 2011

Joy of Love | Day 3

I am participating in a photography workshop through Willette for the month of February.

It is called The Joy of Love and each day I receive photo prompts and assignments to complete to help me work on my photography and also capture some unique photos of my loved ones.

Day 3: Then & Now

Joy of Love - Day 3

This photo was taken when Morgen was 5 months old.

Joy of Love - Day 3

We took a weekend vacation to the mountains with my mom to see the caverns. I wore her the whole time.

Joy of Love - Day 3

She knows exactly who is in this picture.

"Momma and baby Morgen!"

And her thoughts about me taking a picture of her holding another picture were "are we done yet?"

I can barely get her to hold still to take a picture let alone try to hold her anymore. 5 months to 3 years makes one BIG difference.